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More Winter Soldier Thoughts

avengers: black widow is badass
Having now seen Captain America: The Winter Soldier twice, I have more Thoughts. I should mention first, I really, really love it! But I've had time to mull over some things.

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Fic: apologies won't save your soul

avengers: black widow concerned
Title: apologies won't save your soul
Fandom: The Avengers/MCU
Pairing: Clint Barton/Natasha Romanoff
Rating: PG
Word Count: 617
Warnings: none
Author's note: This is a little off the cuff ficlet to work out some of the feelings I've been having after Captain America: The Winter Soldier. There are references to spoilers for the film, but nothing overt. It's unbetaed, so any mistakes are my own.

Summary: "I was wondering how long it’d be before you showed up.”

“Not like I’ve got anywhere else to go."

Clint wakes with the light and he knows. No one else could sneak into his safe house like that.

Read on AO3

Captain America 2 Reactions

avengers: black widow is badass
I thought it was good! I didn't love it as much as Avengers, but I really enjoyed it. It's a great action movie. I didn't have as many Feels as I was expecting from seeing other people's reactions, but I really loved it.

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I SUBMITTED MY THESIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

FF- kaylee squee
I SUBMITTED MY THESIS! I SUBMITTED MY THESIS! I SUBMITTED MY THESIS!

Did I mention I submitted my thesis?

BECAUSE I SUBMITTED MY THESIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Thesis, Thesis, Thesis

girl on a car
Now that I've recovered from concussion and I'm healthy, I've taken stock of everything I still need to do to complete my thesis, and.... I think I can get it in on March 31 after all. Unless my supervisor finds something majorly wrong somewhere (which I'm not ruling out), I don't see why I couldn't. It will be a lot of work, but it was always going to be.

I still have no word on the extension, but now I don't think I'll need it. I can do this.

Mar. 11th, 2014

avengers: kate is stressed
Today the graduate research committee meet to decide if I can have a few weeks extension on my thesis. I have a good case, because of surgery and a head injury (mild concussion), but I'm still super nervous. I should find out either today or in the next few days.

Good thoughts would be appreciated.

Incoherent Musing on Femininity

high heels
Here's the thing. I really like pretty dresses and cute shoes and cute blouses and red lipstick. I'm not ignorant of society's hypocrisy where femininity is dismissed as frivolous and vapid while at the same time, women who don't want to wear make up or dresses etc are considered sloppy, unfeminine, etc. Women can't win, ever.

I've often thought that fandom and in particular tumblr's obsession with labeling things as ~weaponised femininity~ is simplistic and frequently misapplied. While I get the desire to reclaim femininity in a feminist way, weaponised femininity is not an unproblematic concept and it's far more complex than "badly photoshopped movie poster that may or may not be referencing Botticelli with guns= feminist." It seems far more a case of people wanting to label something as feminist without analysing any further (and there lies the heart of much of my beef with fandom analysis: it's more about whether a text can be called feminist or not rather than actual analysis of the text itself). Weaponised femininity can be a legitimate reading of the text, but it's not always the most interesting one. For example, I think Madoka Magica has more to say about the exploitation of women and femininity than it does about empowerment. Whether this makes Madoka Magica a feminist text or not is up for debate, and I don't know enough about Japanese culture and gender roles to be able to answer that.

My biggest problem with weaponised femininity as a concept is that it relies on gender and beauty standards being in place to begin with. I'm not going to go into more detail, since criticism of the pros and cons of performed femininity forms the backbone of my Masters thesis, and I don't want to bore people senseless.

Personally, I do find wearing pretty dresses and red lipstick empowering... but not because I consider my fashion choices particularly feminist. I find wearing pretty dresses empowering because when I had an eating disorder, I did everything to cover up my body. My clothes of choice were jeans and baggy t-shirts and hoodies. But I wasn't happy wearing those clothes. I didn't wear them because I was comfortable with myself, quite the opposite. I remember buying pretty dresses and then never wearing them because I thought I was too ugly. So now that I've recovered and I have a better sense of body image, I rock the pretty dresses and the cute shoes and the red lipstick, and I feel ten times better about myself.

I don't think wearing dresses is more feminist than wearing jeans or vice versa. I think choosing to wear what makes you feel comfortable and good about yourself is feminist. Fuck what other people think about your clothes.

I Hate 9

FF- moonbrained stunt mutiny
I have a real problem with any number ending in 9. It looks incomplete to me, like it's almost an even number but not quite there. Kind of a "so close, yet so far" thing.

Which is a round about way of saying that 'Here I Dreamt I Was A Soldier' has 89 kudos and it's driving me up the wall. :P

Although I really shouldn't complain, given that this was the fic that few people read at first and it broke my heart. I'm glad people are reading and enjoying it, although I'm a little confused why this fic is picking up steam months after it was published. Did it get recced somewhere? I know it was slated for recommendation on crack_van but then it never happened.

Post-Thesis Tasks

Buffy: willow nerd
I'm listing these because I need a reminder that Life Will Go On after my submission date.

~ Find a job, preferably full time or at least part time with set hours. My tutoring jobs dried up over the holidays (they always do), so I'm living off my savings right now and the state of my bank account is depressing as hell.

~ Go through my room and sort out any clothes, books, etc that I no longer use or want and donate to charity. I can be a bit of a hoarder sometimes so this is way overdue.

~ Try to rebuild my shambles of a social life.

~ READ AND WATCH ALL THE THINGS. I have a long list of tv shows, books and movies I need to catch up on.

Feb. 20th, 2014

snowy fairy tale
Watching figure skating is so stressful. Noooooo Julia Lipnitskaia don't cry, you still have a shot at a medal and if you don't win one it's your first Olympics and you're only 15, your career has only just begun, don't cryyyyyyy.

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