One of my older Firefly fics, 'Dulce Et Decorum Est' (Mal/Zoe of the pre-series UST variety) has been nominated for wendwriter's Golden Quill Awards in the Best Science Fiction category! My first fanfic award nomination! *squee*

Now, um, I've never been nominated for an award before so I don't know if this is proper ettiquette, but if you could vote for me that would be most awesome...

Like I said in my previous entry, Rich Text currently hates me so I have to simply post the web address where. You can get to the polls from there. And while you're there, why not check out some other categories?

http://golden-quills.9f.com/cgi-bin/blog

Is anyone else having problems with Rich Text? It's been misbehaving for me for about a week now.

Without further ado:

Film and TV

Everyone, go see The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnasseus. It's the one of the most fabulous and certainly the weirdest film I've seen in a very long time. Steampunk, urban fantasy, Faustian pacts, it's all here. Heath Ledger (sniff) is great, as are his various other incarnations (my favourite was Johnny Depp). And Lily Cole is beautifully wonderful.

On the movie note, I also rewatched Mulan and Hero this week. My favourite Disney film is and always will be The Lion King, but Mulan comes very close. I hadn't seen it in years, so I'd forgotten how awesome it is. For a Disney cartoon, it's pretty intense. The villain actually approaches 'scary'! Good guys die! There are half decent fight scenes! And the girl not only doesn't need to be rescued, but saves the day almost entirely by herself! HALLELUJAH!!!

Hero, an actual Chinese film, is a visual work of art. I've always been fascinated by martial arts and in this film they are superb, as is the cinematography. I love the different colour schemes for each section of the story. The plot is... oh, nevermind. Watch this for the visual experience alone.

As for television, I've just gotten up to Season 2 of The Wire and I'm enjoying it hugely, even if I can only grasp 60% of the various subplots and the accents are really hard to understand sometimes. I can see why watching it on DVD is so popular: miss one episode and you'll have completely lost track of what's going on.

Books

I bought A Lion Among Men, the second sequel to Wicked, at the beginning of the year but only now have the time to read it. I'm enjoying it, but I don't think anything could compare to the marvel that is Wicked. Recommended nonetheless. Speaking of Wicked, while I loved the musical in general, I hate, hate, hate what they did to Fiyero's character. In the book he was a pauper prince with a wife and several children who came from a vaguely Arabic culture and was covered from head to toe in tattoos. He was an original and very interesting character, and for the musical they took all that away and turned him into a two dimensional Disney prince. GRRRRR.

Fanfiction

Sticking Point, by leven_kemal. Nine chapters of plotty, Wash and Mal focused Firefly fic featuring manly bonding, techy spaceship talk, hoopball and bar scenes. Read it, love it, worship it, praise it with great praise.

First things first: Fox cancelled Dollhouse? THIS IS SO MAJORLY SUCKY.

I haven't even had a chance to watch the second season! I hope they still air it in Australia. *glares at phantom Fox execs*

But onto the subject of this post: the Firefly character I relate to most. This was the subject of a thread on Fireflyfans.net, and it got me thinking, but not for very long. Because I think the character I can relate to most is pretty obvious.

It's Hoban 'Wash' Washburne.

Duh.

I think I can relate to all the Firefly characters at some point. That's part of why it's such a great show. The character I admire most is Zoe, but I'm definitely most like Wash. I can especially relate to the way he tries to use jokes in awkward situations to cover up his own inhibitions. He grapples daily with his conscience and is conflicted because of that. Despite all this, he's not afraid to be childish sometimes, which is totally me.

Wash also has qualities that I aspire to, and hope I have: he always stands up for what he thinks is right, even if that view is unpopular and it means fighting with his wife and his friends. He's good at his job and knows he is, but doesn't feel the need to be acknowledged for it. Unlike say Kaylee, I think Wash knows very well that the 'Verse is a damn nasty place full of untrustworthy people, but he tries his best not to become jaded himself. That's why it always annoys me when people portray him as a weakling in fanfic, because I think canon shows us that he's actually made of very tough stuff, and on the physical side can hold his own in a firefight. Maybe not in the same way Jayne, Mal and Zoe can, but he can be deadly with a pistol if he needs to be.

Yeah... can you tell I have a lot of backstory in my head for Wash? I have a lot of backstory for Zoe as well. One day I'll write an epic fanfic about it all.

I can relate to Wash more than pretty much any character in my fandoms. I relate strongly to other characters as well, of course, but Wash is special. Which is why he will always be one of my favourite characters of all time.

I've been reading a lot of cross-fandom meta about the psychology of fanfiction as a whole, specific fandoms, various aspects of fandoms, various interior aspects of various aspects within specific fandoms, etc. So this got me thinking about my own personal Psychology of a Fan.

Every fan is different and every fan reads fanfiction for different reasons, so I'm going to summarise my own fanfiction reading and writing history to attempt to explain why I, sugar_fey , am involved in fandom.

I first discovered fanfiction more or less by accident. I had been making up my own 'fanfics' about characters I liked since I was a very little kid, but only in my head where, mercifully, they remained. But when I began taking my first tentative steps into the virtual world of the Internet, I discovered fanfiction. And I've been here ever since.

I have to admit, the first fanfics I read where almost always sugary romances involving Mary Sues and/or characters acting grossly out of character. And I adored them. I guess stories about love eternal between perfect people perfectly matched to each other appealled to my thirteen year old sensibilities. I was a miserable, bullied, lonely kid at school and here was a world where I could, for a few moments, live vicariously through a character who was talented, beautiful and above all, loved by a character that I loved.

As much as Mary Sues annoy the hell out of me now, I do understand why young girls write them. I wish they wouldn't clog up the fandom with them, but that's another rant for another day.

So, somewhere at the age of fifteen I did an abrupt and embarrasing turnaround and became a writer and reader of dark!fic and emo!fic, some of which unfortunately verged on torture porn. I'm not sure which stage of my fandom life was worse, the Mary Sue stage or this. I guess you could say it was my first attempt to explore the darker sides of human psychology, but it was not an exploration that was handled with any skill at all. Luckily I got over this stage fairly quickly when I realised that a character doesn't need to be tortured to be interesting.

After this came a short hiatus and then what I like to call the 'snarkcrit' stage when I was seventeen-eighteen. I suddenly fancied myself as something of a giver of constructive criticism, whether it was wanted or not. I took a delight in sporking badfic of the very kind that I would have devoured at age fourteen. And let's face it, sporking badfic is, on occasion, hilarious.

Even though I never actually flamed anybody, I'm not proud of how I acted back then. Though I did give genuinely constructive criticism to a few writers on fanfiction.net who requested it, I think ultimately the 'snarkcrit' stage was a bit of a power trip, a way for me to say "I'm so smart and you're so dumb." I'm not saying every concritter is like this, not at all. But this probably was the case for me.

Now, suddenly on the fanfiction.net discussion boards, a civil flame war errupted. I refused to get involved, because at the time I had plenty of drama going on in real life and did certainly did not need it on the Internet, which was my refuge from the mess. I was briefly burned by association anyway, and started to withdraw from active fandom participation.

Then I discovered livejournal.

A few months of lurking and my decision was made. I packed my bags, left fanfiction.net and opened a livejournal account. And this brings me to my current, and probably longest lasting, fandom stage.

I read fanfiction for realism. Realism within the possiblities of a particular fandom universe, for a start. A Rent bodyswap, for example, is not going to float my boat. A Buffy one certainly might, if done well, because that's not impossible within that universe. But above all, I want realistic human emotion. Angst, humour, adventure, smut, whatever, I don't care, I'll read all of it as long as you give me something real. It's the same thing I want from any published book, tv show or film. I'm not going to slam an unsuspecting fanfic writer for not producing something up to my personal expectations, but I'm not going to keep reading that fanfic either.

I'm not picky. I have my preferences with fanfic, but if something's well written I'm gladly read something in another fandom, pairing, genre, what have you. What I look for is realistic emotion and complex portrayals of characters. Whether a story is set in highschool or on a spaceship, complexity remains relevant. It's not restricted to human characters, either. An Elf from Lothlorien may not react to a rabble of Orcs in the same way as a woman from Rohan might, but that doesn't mean they're an emotionless robot either. They just react in a different way.

Any thoughts?

 

Let us assume that the majority of people actively involved in online fandom, especially in the realm of fanfiction, are women. I'm not basing this off any official statistics, just observation over many years (so feel free to correct me if I'm wrong). Now, venture into a discussion of pretty much any fandom, and you are bound to encounter bucketloads of hate directed towards one or more female characters.

Bucketloads of hate directed, primarily, by women.

Look at the amount flack copped by Harry Potter characters like Hermione, Ginny or Tonks for no reason other than... well, that they exist. Yes, some of the hate is based in legitimate criticism, but the male characters will likely be just as guilty of any accusation heaped on the female ones. Look at the hate directed at Martha Jones for pining away over the Doctor whereas it's much rarer to see anyone calling the Doctor pathetic for never getting over Rose Tyler. Or the number of people who can't stand any woman who walks into Torchwood but don't condemn Ianto Jones for being a teaboy-turned-Gary-Stu.

And let's not even go into the Supernatural fandom.

What prompts this hate, that is some cases seems to be almost automatic the moment a female character is introduced?

I have no idea. Never having studied psychology, I can only guess. I guess that shipping might have something to do with it. A lot of hate is directed at characters that are seen as somehow interfering with the OTP of your choice. But why are male characters never blamed for this?

Actually, I think I can hate this one. It's all about hating the 'other woman.' Even if you're not part of the 'other' but really wish you were.

If a male character is possessive and jealous, it's often seen as romantic or sexy. If a female character is jealous or possessive, it's often seen as clingy, bitchy or paranoid. And in some cases this might be true, but then the identical male behaviour should be seen the same way. If a man cries, it's touching. If a woman cries, she's pathetic. On the flip side, if a woman doesn't cry she's cold. It's a double standard and it annoys me to say the least.

I love fandom, I loved being involved in fandoms and interacting with other fans. But so often I encounter an undercurrent of misogyny that I find truly worrying.

If women belittle women and hold them to double standards, it only makes it easier for men to do the same.

/end rant

Greetings, f-list! I know I've been silent of late... I've been super busy with life stuff. But I've been thinking of signing up for this:

choc_fic 's 100 Days of Colour celebration. 100 days, one character of colour for each. You sign up for any day between November 15, 2009 to February 22, 2010 to post fic, picspam, meta, vid, a rec list or anything else that takes your fancy on your chosen day for your chosen character.

sarahetc has already chosen the lovely Mrs Zoe Alleyne Washburne and other people chose Charles Gunn and Toshiko Sato, so I'm trying to choose between the following:

Shepherd Book~Firefly 
Tom Collins~RENT 
Mimi Marquez~RENT 
Augustus Hill~Oz
Miguel Alvarez~Oz
Angelina Johnson~Harry Potter

At the moment I'm kind of leaning towards either Mimi, Angelina or Hill, but I could write a short fic or post a rec list for any of them.

Any thoughts? I'm having trouble deciding.

I just got back from seeing Wicked and it was... breathtaking. Amazing. Wonderful. I nearly cried several times.

The book is one of my favourites of all time, but I knew that the musical was very different so I decided to regard them as two entirely separate entities that happened to have the same title, which worked very well or else my inner canon bitch would've been frustrated.

Amanda Harrison played Elphaba and I knew she would be great because I loved her in We Will Rock You. She was sensational. What a voice! Her 'Defying Gravity' was truly awe inspiring. We love you, Amanda!

Glinda was played by Lucy Durack and she was really funny. Great voice, a little shrill sometimes but that suits the character. All in all, she did a fantastic job.

Rob Mills as Fiyero was surprisingly good, though I think I definitely prefer book!Fiyero. It took a while to get used to the idea of Fiyero being a spoiled rich boy rather than a pauper prince. I would've loved to have seen a Fiyero with dark skin and covered head to toe in tattoos, but I guess for the way they rewrote the characters and the plot that wouldn't have worked. Also, during any duet with Elphaba you could tell Amanda was holding herself back or she would have sung him off the stage. But he handled himself extremely well.

I wish they would've given Nessarose and Boq larger roles. Boq was one of my favourites in the book and Nessarose was so compellingly nasty. Oh well.

The sets were spectacular. Loved the Time Dragon above the stage.

I'm proud to say I now own a Defying Gravity t-shirt. ;)

I've got tickets to see Wicked: The Musical next Sunday!! AHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! I've wanted to see it for ages, ever since I read the book, which has now become one of my favourite books ever.

I've heard the musical is quite different to the book, not so dark and twisty for one thing, but still, WICKED!! SQUEEEEEE!!!!!!!!

*so happy*

Six ships you're into right now
1. Wash/Zoe
2. Lupin/Tonks
3. Elliot/Olivia
4. Mal/Zoe
5. Oz/Willow
6. Angel/Spike

Three ships you liked, but don’t like anymore
7. Ginny/Draco. I was young, okay?
8. Doctor/Martha
9. Sirius Black/Remus Lupin

Four ships you never liked
10. River/Jayne
11. Simon/Kaylee
12. Mal/River
13. James/Lily

Two ships you're curious about, but don’t actually ship
14. Tobias Beecher/ Chris Keller
15. Dr Gloria Nathan/Ryan O'Reily

( Questions )


Okay, now back to writing that essay I've been avoiding... Sigh.

The dust storm that hit Canberra yesterday has now well and truly hit Sydney. The sky is bright orange! It looks like something out of War of the Worlds. Even inside you can feel dust cover everything. My eyes are starting to crust up.

Reactions on Facebook have been helarious, ranging from "Apocalypse!" to "OMG, THIS IS SO AWESOME!" People are having a ball. My favourite comment was from one of my friends: "Looking at the world through the Mars simulator. We have been chosen as the first colonists."

On ABC Radio you can call in and request an appropriate song. They just played REM's 'It's the End of the World as We Know It', but songs have also been played by Slim Dusty, Dusty Springfield... I have half a mind to call in and request David Bowie's 'Life on Mars'.

I took some awesome photos really early this morning, so I'll try to post them. It's like nothing I've seen before.

First time doing one of these!

I'm not a hardcore greenie and I admit that I don't handle sustainability as much as I would like, but I try to do what I can. My whole family recycles paper or cardboard products, glass, cans and plastic. I try to use cloth bags when I go shopping and avoid using plastic bags if I can. We also reuse plastic bags. When I'm at university I bring my water bottle with me and refill it from the drinking fountain rather than buying bottled water. At work we use recycled paper bags and bio-degradable plastic ones. I try not to waste paper if I can help it.

In the house the rule is that you switch off the lights when you leave the room, which also helps keep our electricity bills down. Our hot water system is solar powered (we didn't install it, it was already installed when we moved in), which is great. We can switch it to electricity though, which we do a lot in winter because if it's an overcast day you get a cold shower!

We've just swapped our old, rusted-through fridge with a more energy efficient one, though that decision was based less on helping the environment and more with the fact that the old fridge was starting to leak out onto the floor.

And of course, I celebrate Earth Hour by attending my friend's annual Fun In The Dark party. ;)

Speaking of environment, my vegetarianism has to undergo so modifications. I started fainting again and a blood test revealed that my iron levels were once more dangerously low. So now on doctor's orders I have to eat one serving of meat a week or else pop a bunch of pills every day. I've had enough of pill popping to last a lifetime, so I've decided to go with the meat option. One serving of meat a week, but I can be vegetarian the rest of the time. My health has to come first.

Fail.

Okay. I've managed to gain access to the first four seasons of Oz, so here's a list of what I'm loving and not loving so far:

Loves
- Augustus Hill. I've had a celebrity crush on the actor who plays him ever since I saw him as Mercutio in Romeo + Juliet and he was amazing. Also, I think he's one of the few truly sympathetic characters in the show. Other characters have moments where you sympathise with them, but really only three are sympathetic the whole time: Hill, Busmalis and Beecher. Although Beecher is becoming less and less sympathetic as the series goes on.

- Miguel Alvarez.

- Kareem Said. I know he annoys a lot of people, but I find him really fascinating, if a little self-important. I've just gotten up to the episodes that show the aftermath of Adebisi's death, so he's becoming really intriguing.

- Oh, Beecher. You really have been through hell.

- Burr Redding. He's just appeared and I kind of like him.

- Ryan O'Reilly! Yep, I'm jumping on the O'Reilly Fanwagon. I can't help it, he's so evil and manipulative and watching him work is fascinating and horrifying all at once. When he and Keller join forces they could rule the world. And I really want them to make out. :P I know they don't, but still.

- Which brings me to KELLER!! Such a sociopathic bastard has no right being so damn hot. And seriously, how many people has he killed by now? We know he's killed at least four people on the outside, and let's face it, probably more. Add to that the number of people he kills in Oz and you have an astronomical body count. I actually liked it more at the beginning when he was a career criminal who shot a clerk while robbing a liquor store rather than the serial killer he's turned out to be. He had a few more layers then, because it kept you guessing to which depths he would sink. Now we know there are very few depths to which he wouldn't sink.

- Busmalis and Rebadow. Including the time when Rebadow went crazy.

Not Loves

- Adebisi. Good riddance.

- Robson. He's not even a villain you love to hate, like Schillinger. He's just lame.

- Tim McManus. Such a slut!

- Morales. I think he's a bit over the top, verging on stereotype.

- Omar White. I find him really, really annoying.

- ... Chinese detainees? Seriously? I guess this is the point everyone keeps talking about, where the writers obviously ran out of ideas and the show went crazy. Sigh. That seems to happen to all my favourite shows. Always around Season 4, too.

That's all I've seen so far!

Typical! Just as the weather finally starts heating up, I come down with a sinus infection. There is no justice in the world.

*sulk*

*sneeze*

What's more, I have to write a second story for my Creative Writing course and I have ABSOLUTELY NO IDEA what to write. Which is pretty awful considering both stories are due in early November. I workshopped the draft of Mind the Gap Please with my tutorial and it was very well recieved, though it still needs work.

Help! What do I do? I could tell the story of the Kennedy siblings, but I don't really have a plot for them, just extensive backstory. And my head's too clogged with mucus to be able to think of anything.

In other news, I have my first Honours information lecture this evening. Wish me luck!

Continuing my current crime drama binge, I'm starting to really like Ashes to Ashes. It took me a while to warm up to it, because I loved Life On Mars (UK version only! The American one was terrible) so very much and I found it hard to watch the same scenario without Sam Tyler or the 1973 setting. 

Ashes to Ashes follows the same set up as Life On Mars, except the character who goes back in time is a female detective named Alex Drake and she wakes up in 1981 London after being shot. DCI Gene Hunt (GUV!!!), Raye and Chris have all been transferred to London from Manchester and are happy being 1980s coppers.

Ashes to Ashes isn't nearly as emotionally hard hitting as Life On Mars was, nor as gritty, but it has other things going for it. The writing is very good and there are a lot of jokes. Chris has managed to grow a brain, and Raye's mustache is helarious. There's a fair amount of UST between Alex and Gene which is amusing if nothing else. And that clown is scary as hell. Not as scary as the Test Card Girl, but still scary.

Speaking of Gene Hunt! I read an interview with the creator of Life On Mars who said that LoM is basically a love story between two men. HA!!! Okay, so it's portrayed as more platonic than sexual and they still have Annie as a romantic interest, but I love it when producers acknowledge when male leads have tension like that. Joss Whedon did so in the commentary of Angel, and as crackling as the UST was between Spike and Angel, I don't think they would've let something happen even if the show had continued. Willow and Tara, sure, but two guys? That seems to freak studios out. But back to Ashes to Ashes...

For a long time, my main problem with it was that I didn't like Alex, but after this week's episode I do. I thought the matter of fact way she said "Can we care about the crimes he's committed instead of whose cock he sucks?" was helarious. Especially the other cops' reaction to it.

Another gripe? The soundtrack is not as good as Life On Mars. But then, Life On Mars had the advantage of being set in the 1970s, so there was all that British 60s and 70s music to choose from. The way music was used in that series was masterful. Most of the clues were in the music.

Anyway, now I'm off to watch The Wire for the first time. I hear it's good? And I realise I'm woefully behind on replying to some comments... I'll get to it, I promise! I've just been super busy lately.

Wash/Zoe is my OTP to conquer all OTPs. As in, if someone said "You have to only pick one ship to ship for the rest of your days," it would be Wash/Zoe.

Surprisingly, we Wash/Zoe shippers seem to be on the fringe of fandom (and we're AWESOME!), or maybe it just seems that way because all the Jayne/River shippers have taken over the place. As far as shipping trends go, Wash/Zoe is unusual for the following reasons that sarahetc once described:

HET! MARRIED! CANON! OMG!!!

Because there seems to be an aversion to actively shipping pairings who are not only canon but are an established married couple in canon. There's the misapprehension that they're somehow boring. And ewww, married people having sex must be gross, right?

I beg to differ. The fact that they're so very married is precisely what makes them interesting to me, and presumably what made them interesting to Joss Whedon (until he felt the need to ruin it all with an Event That Must Not Be Named). Aside from Inara, who has sex in a professional capacity, Wash and Zoe are the only people abord Serenity with any sort of actiive sex life. Oh, I'm sure Jayne and Kaylee aren't opposed to having a few one-night stands or flings while in port, but while in space we can accept as canon that no one is getting any other than Wash and Zoe. And they get it a lot.

Which makes the relative lack of smut for them in fanfic very annoying indeed. Honestly fandom, you're okay with River having underage sex with a man-ape but you find sex between husband and wife impossible to comprehend...?

But I digress.

The main reason I love Wash/Zoe is this: Wash and Zoe have absolutely no reason to be married and stay married other than for love. They have nothing financially or materially to gain from getting married, in fact, they might even be better off in that department if they weren't. The odds are entirely stacked against them; Zoe disobeyed a direct order by marrying Wash and Wash could easily have found a better paid and much safer job on another ship. So the only reason they could possibly have for getting married is that they love eachother.

Which makes them pretty darn interesting in my opinion.

Nor are they boring because they're a happy rather than an angsty pairing. In canon they have plenty of angst. I think one of the oppotunities the Wash/Zoe pairing offers is how a couple can argue about issues ranging from petty to serious without the foundations of their relationship being destroyed. They go through rocky patches, but in the end they come through it together. Against all odds, they have a functional relationship. Even in real life, that's an achievement.

So, Wash and Zoe. They're not a conventional pairing and they're not a conventional shipping choice. But they work, and they are individually awesome and even greater together. We shippers may be a smaller bunch, but we're fantastic and we write incredible fanfic.

TEAM WASHBURNE, FULL SPEED AHEAD!!!!

On Friday I saw Sweeney Todd at a friend's house for the first time, and I have one thing to say:

HOW DID THE AWESOMENESS OF THIS ESCAPE ME UNTIL NOW???

Of course I knew the story of Sweeney Todd already (barber in Victorian London goes on revenge killing spree and his lady friend and accomplice grinds up the bodies and bakes them in pies), but I'd never felt particularly compelled to watch it because, well, I'm squeamish.

There are Tarantino levels of gore; not buckets but fountains of blood. And somehow the fact that it's so over the top takes away the real human horror. I found myself giggling madly through the throat-slitting montage because it was so extreme it was funny. At least, I hope it was meant to be funny.

I do have a rather dark sense of humour.

Johnny Depp and Helena Bonham Carter are insane creepy Gothic love and that little kid ended up being the scariest thing in the movie.

( Creepy kid spoiler )

Oh, the insanity! And oh, sexy sexy Alan Rickman! Did I mention he's in this movie?

And is it just me, or why is the blood in this film orange? The orange blood was the only thing that really bothered me about the movie. Though the fact that it looked so fake did make the murder scenes a lot easier to watch, so in a way I'm grateful.
 

I've decided that my writer's nickname should be The Poisoned Quill, because angst is all that I'm able to write. That, and my muse is once again driving me crazy. Here are some of the ideas she has produced over the last week:

Original:

- Mind the Gap Please was always going to be an angst fest, but now it's gone to an even darker place than I imagined. 

- Liam and Avalon Kennedy. I usually come up with characters first and story second, and this is no exception. I have no story for these characters yet, but they're practically fully formed and were shamelessly born from watching too much Oz and Law & Order: SVU. And they have the most depressing backstory I've ever come up with. Liam Kennedy and Avalon Kennedy are siblings who since early childhood have had no one but eachother. Their mother died when they were four and two, respectively (Liam is two years older than his sister), and their father was sentenced to life in prison for murder just four years later. Now aged eight and six, Liam and Avalon were placed in foster care and shuffled from one home to another. Both were difficult children and they never stayed with the same foster parents for long. Liam in particular was prone to sudden tantrums and had problems with authority figures. Not surprisingly, the education of Liam and Avalon also suffered.

When they reached their teens things went downhill fast. Liam became involved with a group of older boys and began shoplifting from electronic stores. After a few warnings he was sent to juvie at the age of fourteen and was there for almost a year. When he was released he found that Avalon had been moved to another foster home. Avalon, now twelve, confided in Liam that her previous foster father abused her. Liam, who always felt very protective of his younger sister, blamed himself for not being able to look after Avalon while he was in juvie. However, Liam's criminal activities didn't cease and it didn't take long before Avalon became involved. Avalon proved to be a skilled pickpocket. When Liam turned eighteen and no longer had to be in foster care, he found a job whilst still committing petty crimes and Avalon ran away to join him a few months later, not without ripping off her current foster parents' wallets first.

I don't know what story I'll come up with for Liam and Avalon. They're tragic characters but at the same time not particularly nice- they have no reason to be. They're incredibly close and only care about each other, everyone else is considered expendable. Liam is a loose cannon, prone to violent rages (though never against Avalon) and I think he's definitely capable of killing people. He's fiercely overprotective of his sister and easily lead astray. Avalon is utterly jaded. She's intelligent and more level-headed than her brother, though she can fight like a cornered dog is provoked. I like Liam and Avalon and I can't wait to write about them, but I haven't developed a story for them yet. I'm guessing that when I do it would be pretty dark.

- I've always wanted to write my own retelling of the fairytale 'The Red Shoes' as a piece of historical and/or gothic fiction about a young ballet dancer in the corps de ballet dreaming of becoming the prima ballerina but always being overlooked. The story would be set around a company rehearsing the ballet Giselle, where a girl dies after being betrayed by her lover and becomes a ghost who has to dance men to their deaths every night. It's one of my favourite ballets and has some parallels to The Red Shoes, so I would love to find a way to blend elements of the two in a gothic ghost story. I'm thinking of setting it in the 1930s.

Fanfic:

- Gaaah. I still have installments of my Wash/Zoe fic 'Under the Affluence' to write. I've got plenty of ideas and some entire scenes sketched out, but I don't have much time to write fanfic this semester. One day.

- I do, however, have a nearly completed fic about Neville Longbottom and Luna Lovegood that I could finish soon. I may post that one over the next few weeks. It's been gathering dust in one of my folders for months but a little polish and it should be pretty good.

- I want to write Elliot/Olivia Law and Order: SVU fic. *ducks* I don't know what yet, but I want to write angsty fic, because they are first and foremost an Angst Ship.

I'm on such an angst binge right now. It must be all the original writing. I'll have to go read some cheerful Wash/Zoe smut to recover.

I'm a great admirier of mermaiden 's writing, and right now she has an ongoing original web serial called Widdershin Wood . I've been reading it and I think it's amazing, so with her permission I've decided to recommend it here.

A brief description, taken from the introductory page:

Morgen’s life is wyrd. She was left on Baba Yaga’s doorstep (hard to do when a house is on chicken legs) as a child, and now she’s almost all grown up, having been raised by the witch herself. The problem? She’s a fairy. And their famous poultry inn stalks the border between a somewhat normal world and the Widdershin Wood, which is hardly normal at all. It’s a macabre life, but someone has to wing it.

It's a great macabre fantasy story in a similar vein as Holly Black's Tithe, so if you enjoy such stories you'll definitely enjoy this!

1. Leave me a comment saying anything random, like your favorite lyric to your current favorite song.
2. I respond by asking you five personal questions so I can get to know you better.
3. You will update your LJ with the answers to the questions.
4. You will include this explanation and offer to ask someone else in the post.
5. When others comment asking to be asked, you will ask them five questions.

surreallis gave me these questions!

What is one bit of trivia about your home city/town?
Sydney, sweet Sydney! Sydney, for those not familiar with Australian history, began as a British convict colony and was thus the first European settlement (the Aboriginal people had already been here for centuries). It is also one of the few big cities in the world that does not have a major river running through it.

Elliot Stabler or Chris Keller, and why?
Honestly? Elliot Stabler. Keller is incredibly sexy (that swagger! That smile! That ATTITUDE!) but apart from that he's not as intriguing as Elliot is. Ultimately Keller is a violent sociopath and the series shows that there are very few depths to which he wouldn't sink, so you're never really in a position where you think "OMG, will he go there?" because you know he totally would. Even with his occasional flashes of compassion and his own honour code (eg. he won't physically hurt a woman), Keller's always going to be one of the bad guys. Which is fine, but I have a real weakness for emotionally conflicted characters and you can't get more Conflicted than Elliot Stabler. I like that he's always treading the fine line between being a good person and a good cop and releasing the explosive, possibly lethal anger within him. Even if it makes him behave like a jerk most of the time sometimes.

The way I think of it, Chris Keller is not as interesting as Elliot Stabler and Elliot Stabler is not as interesting as Olivia Benson. ;)

What is your favourite food?
Oh, boy! This is a tough one, because I love all kinds of food. But if I'd have to pick one I'd say my mum's olive, tomato and feta cheese pasta. YUM.

What is your favourite song currently?
*checks playlist* I love so many songs! But currently I'd have to say it's a tie between Pink Floyd's 'Wish You Were Here' and Oasis' 'Wonderwall'.

If you could invite 3 people, living or dead, to a dinner party to talk about anything you wish, who would it be and why?
Oscar Wilde, because I bet he'd make a fascinating conversation partner.
Shakespeare, for the same reason and because I'd love to see Shakespeare and Wilde try to out-snark eachother.
Joss Whedon, so I could ask him WHY THE HELL HE FELT THE NEED TO KILL OFF WASH.

Hello, everyone. I haven't posted in a few days because, well, I've had nothing to say. So here's a quick update about what's been happening in the life of Sugar Fey:

Fandom: I've become thoroughly addicted to the HBO show Oz despite my best efforts. It's nasty, explicit and unbelievably brutal, but it also manages to be enthralling, touching and at times even truly funny. Plus it features characters like master con-man Ryan O'Reily and the indecently hot Chris Keller (see icon).

The thing I've found with American cable TV shows is that the writers always feel the need to pepper the dialogue with as many swear words as possible just because they can. Same goes for sex scenes. Having grown up with Australian, British and other European media with far more relaxed censorship laws, the sight of a bare buttock or (gasp!) a bare breast or even hearing the word 'fuck' never seemed like a big deal to me. This means that for me, the level of swearing and graphic sex in shows like True Blood is mildly annoying at best and eyeroll worthy at worst. My usual thought processes whilst watching True Blood and the like are often the following: "Yes, HBO, we know you're allowed to show sex scenes. Can we get back to the plot please and stop being juvenile?"

And then Oz comes along.

Oz is graphic even by HBO standards. It's view at your own risk. If the thought of someone getting their neck snapped while they're giving another person a blowjob makes you heave (and believe me, you wouldn't be alone), THEN THIS IS NOT THE SHOW FOR YOU. I have to fast forward or skip entire scenes sometimes because the violence makes me sick. But you know what? In Oz the extreme violence, sex and language actually make sense. This is a maximum security prison inhabited by the scum of the earth, it stands to reason that every second word would be 'fuck' in various contexts. This is a show that does its best to show the reality of American prisons, and that reality isn't pretty.

To illustrate this, here's a Ryan O'Reily vid I unearthed on Youtube. It's a collection of every single time Ryan says the word 'fuck', and it's pretty impressive. No knowledge of Oz is necessary.


Life:

-I've been living the stereotypical life of a uni student the past few weeks. Little sleep, much socialising, much drinking, unhealthy eating. That is all.

- One day, hopefully over the weekend, I will attempt to cook a Morrocan vegetable tagine. I had one in a restaurant in New Zealand and it was the most delicious thing ever. Thus being able to make it myself has become my culinary ambition.

Meme yoinked from various lovely people!

Ask me my top five fannish or fandom anything, and I will answer. Possibly with squeeing.

Bear in mind that I watch/read a lot of stuff without being actively involved in the fandoms, so in no particular order here is a list of current and past Stuff I Squee Over Or Even Just Have A Vague Interest In (the ones in bold are the ones where I am more active in fandom, ie. I read/write fanfic) :

Firefly
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Angel
Dollhouse
Harry Potter
Lord of the Rings
Wicked (novel only)
RENT
We Will Rock You
Moulin Rouge
Chicago
Law and Order: SVU
Doctor Who
Torchwood
Oz (the show sucked me in, despite all my attempts to resist)
True Blood
The Tudors
The Sarah Connor Chronicles
Boston Legal

What can I say? I have a fannish disposition. Also, has anyone encountered the phenomenon where you start reading a lot of fanfic and participate in discussions for a new fandom and can't shake the feeling that you're somehow cheating on your main fandom? I have. It's... odd.

Reading over my past few fanfics and original stories, I've realised that I haven't written as a woman in a very long time. All my narrators or protagonists tend to be male. Not only that, they also tend to be emotionally stunted and fucked up males who continue to further fuck up their own lives and the lives of those around them by not being able to deal with their own problems.

Huh.

I wonder why.

My last fanfic was my Washathon submission, Unfinished Business. Wash doesn't fuck up his own life in this, but he certainly can't deal with his own trauma in a healthy way. I think it would come back to bite him eventually. Hmm. I think I may have to revisit this fanfic universe.

Last year I did the first Creative Writing course and the result was the emotional minefield that is Rage (Against the Dying of the Light)

It's like I had a field day writing about emotionally repressed young men. Then again, I do know a thing or two about that. Emotional repression is something of an epidemic in my dad's family, and in older generations of Australian men in general.

And now I'm writing another original story, where the protagonist is - you guessed it- an emotionally repressed, fucked up young man.

I'm honestly wondering what the psychology behind this is. It's not something I have an answer for.

I should try writing as a woman again and see what the result is.
 

In my Creative Writing tutorial, we had to come up with a list of what we considered the strengths of our writing and what we considered the weaknesses. Finding the good was hard for me, as even a casual glance at my journal will reveal that I have the lowest self-esteem on the planet, but I came up with some things.

Here is my list, feel free to agree or contradict me if you so choose!

The Good:

-Dialogue. This is one area of my writing when I can get over my own insecurities and acknowledge that something is good. I have a good ear for snappy, realistic dialogue that's appropriate to character. For my last Creative Writing class, I was told by my professor that my conversations between Australian soldiers in WWI trenches actually sounded like how Australian soldiers in a freezing trench would speak. He said all my dialogue in that story felt authentically Australian. For me, that was one of the biggest compliments ever, because I grew up surrounded by Vietnam and WWII veterans so I'd tried to recreate, with a bit of tweaking, how Australian soldiers would interact with eachother. I was overjoyed to hear that it worked.

-Characters. Specifically, damaged characters. All the characters I write, even the ones I choose to write fanfiction about, are fucked up in some way. I seem to do it well.

-Humour. Yes, I write mostly angsty, character-driven stuff, but when I write humour people seem to respond very well. Apparently I can be very funny. I have a Jasper Ffordian sense of humour.

The Bad:

-Setting. I'm weak at describing setting, even though I can mostly imagine things in detail. I just fall into the trap of thinking the reader can imagine things as easily as I can!

-Action-driven scenes. I fail, fail, FAIL at this. Most of the scenes I write are character or dialogue driven, because I can't for the life of me describe what characters are physically doing without sounding stilted.

-First person stories that aren't funny. I can't describe emotions through first person narration at all, mainly because when I do write first person, it's usually very snarky first person.

The Ugly:

-Plot. As in, my complete inability to create one. Which is why I'll probably stick to character-driven short stories. *sigh*

I do not want to be drawn into the Oz fandom. Do not want, do not want, Do. Not. Want. 

Why? Because pretty much every extreme fandom darkfic!fantasy happens in canon. I haven't had the guts to watch vids of anything other than the ongoing Beecher/Keller storyline and that's extremely disturbing as it is.

To be honest, the whole show scares the hell out of me. And yet it's strangely compelling, which is why I keep watching clips. It's like a very destructive addiction.

Briefly, Oz is set in a maximum security men's prison and is a realistic portrayal of the daily lives of prisoners. And by realistic, I mean Realistic, prison rapes and all. Prison Break eat your heart out. This show probably has Quentin Tarantino crying bitter tears of jealousy.

I can't really watch anything more than short clips at a time because it's too scary and I'm squeamish. I don't want to watch any of it, really, but it's so well-written and the acting is so intense that it grips you and doesn't let you go.

To let you know what I'm talking about, here is a Beecher/Keller clip. Keller is the scary/sexy one not tied to a chair.

I showed this clip to a friend yesterday, and this was how the accompaning commentary went:

Friend: This has a lot of sexual tension... oh. Oh. Now it's just sexual.
*moment later*
Friend: That was disturbingly hot.
Me: I'm right there with you.

There's a Harry Potter canon pairing fest going on, and I'm thinking I'd quite like to do it (hp_canon_fest ). Submissions are due December 1 and it's a minimum of 1000 words, so even with the large amount of work I have to do this semester I'd still have time to write it.

I don't know. It's a big exchange and Harry Potter BNFs are kind of scary. Is it too big a sandpit for me to play in?